O.K. I Admit…

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It is very hard to explain to people who have never known serious depression or anxiety the sheer continuous intensity of it. There is no off switch. Matt Haig
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/depression-quotes

I have been pushing back on something I just don’t want to admit, for if I admit it then I own it.  I have been doing mental gymnastics around it.  The more I try to avoid it, the stronger it seems to loom over me.

I have been putting on a mask of “everything is fine” when with others, but deep down inside me it simmers just below the surface.  I do not know anyone in my sphere of people who would understand these feelings that I am experiencing.  So, here I am suffering in silence, my only outlet being is this blog.

So, okay I admit it, I am depressed!

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Comments (

11

)

  1. V

    Do you want to talk about it? Do you want someone to talk about it with?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rethinking Scripture

      It is tough going for me, especially in the evenings.
      My best friend calls it quits really early in the evening.
      It is the loneliness that is difficult for me. I do not have anyone to speak with or just have coffee.
      When I was house bound for almost two years
      I lost touch with most.
      So, yes, sometimes if I could just chat with someone besides going to the mental health ward would be nice.
      Thanks V for your support! It really does mean alot!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. V

        Do you text? (Asking because I know you’re my dad’s generation and he hates texting). If you would be interested in texting, you can text me? I’ll give you my number just so you can have a friend to rant to or just say hey too so you feel less alone.

        Sorry if it sounds creepy or if it’s too much to offer. I just thought… if I were feeling that way, it would be an offer that I would like, so I put myself in your shoes and thought I might offer. Hopefully you don’t take it the wrong way.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Rethinking Scripture

          V I don’t have a cell phone. Just see no need at the time to have one.
          My daughter is always after me to buy one. I just tell people if you want me try the landline or email…lol.
          I am part of the old school when it comes to tech.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Chelsea Owens

    I’m sorry you’re depressed, and I feel the way you do about opening up to people around me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Rethinking Scripture

      I have always kept how I feel close to my chest.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Renee/Heart Tokens

    Prayers for you! Depression is rough! Hope you can find a happy place to chase the blues away. Mine is my back porch where I can listen and watch nature. It really helps to soothe the nerves. And you are not alone. You have all us here on WP. We are here for you! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Rethinking Scripture

      Thank you Renee!
      I really need to find that type of place. I live in a mobile home and no back porch.
      Eventually I will find my way out of this black hole I am in.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. therippleeffect70x7

    From a fellow sufferer whom you’ve encouraged, you are in my thoughts. You are not alone.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Rethinking Scripture

      Thank you!

      Like

  5. Angie

    I think there are so many of us who are the same way, “pretending” to be ok and all good on the outside but bleeding so much hurt and sadness on the outside. It’s easier than answering all the questions that you may not even know the answers to yourself. I personally hate the questions “Are you ok?” and “What’s wrong?” They are (for me) impossible to answer or when things are super bad they just make me sob uncontrollably.
    I’m sorry you are going through it 😦 The blogging community can definitely help sometimes I find. Mostly because I don’t have to get dressed to kind of interact with people haha! There are some really great people here.

    Liked by 1 person

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