You may not control all of the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

Maya Angelou

If you listen to any news broadcast you will eventually sense that people’s lives are in chaos.  Others are upset thinking there “freedom rights” are being taken from them.  Protesting about the stay – at – home orders, in some capital cities showing up with firearms.  Everyone feels they have no control in their lives, which at this time, at this place it would sure feel like it.

When I was younger I was a total perfectionist, I wanted everything in order.  I would tell people that “I hate surprises”.  They would happen and I would feel threatened, I would be in a total panic.

Maybe if I would have learned that nothing stays the same, that everything will eventually come around.  It is probably building up in me over many years like a time bomb waiting to explode.  It culminated and time ran out, resulting in an attempted suicide.

I have learned many lessons since then, for example; I am not living to be in a popularity contest.  That was a big weight off my shoulders.  So, as I written before, I have become comfortable in my own skin.

Also, my feeble attempts to think I needed millions in the bank to be happy.  For awhile I did pretty well in my early twenties through to my early thirties.  My problem wasn’t making the money, the problem was I did not know how to handle it properly.  I would spend it as fast as I made it.  I have finally learned how to manage what basic disability income, the result being I don’t jump every time the phone rings thinking it is a bill collector.  Another weight off my shoulder.

Those years to me were so chaotic now that I look back on them.  My life is balanced with the medical help in controlling my bi-polar symptoms.   I now just let life come what may, I can actually go to sleep in a induced calmness, a sleeping pill has that effect.

I do wonder how others are truly coping with all the chaos that seems to be happening at this present moment.  My heart breaks many times when I hear the stories of some from around the world.  Chaos rings out very sharply!

So dear reader, you may not believe this for it may it seem like it will never end, but there will come a brighter morning.  You will come through this and you just might amaze yourself on how well you actually did!