Things I Wish My Father Would Have…

: Zachrie Friesen

“Teaching a boy to be a man is the primary job of a father.”―

Clayton Lessor MA, LPC

With all the racial tension happening around the world I find the most shocking is when a black parent talks about having “the talk” with their son.  The talk from what I garner is about how to act if pulled over by the police. I find it heart breaking that a parent must make a point of it for the fear their son may not make it home at night otherwise.

It has made me think about my relationship with my own father.  In his own finite way he tried to teach me some things. It usually ended up with him becoming angry and calling me names.  Eventually I would just stay clear of him, in high school I would make sure he had already left in the morning, I would not come home until I knew he would be in bed.

There are many things I wish my father would have had a conversation with me about.

*For the ladies this post might seem it is not relevant to you. I feel that it is, it can be something you can speak to your partner about if and when you have a son*

  • Mothers teach their daughters about feminine hygiene when they enter puberty. I wish my father would have explained to me about the changes in my body entering puberty.  Hygiene is one of those, the other is the effect of what testosterone does to the male body and the emotions.
  • That the words “sex” and “love” are not interchangeable.  That sex is a bi-product of love between a couple. 
  • In marriage what to expect during the honeymoon, then how to keep the love alive afterwards.
  • That a woman after the birth of child is really not in the mood to take care of you acting like a spoiled child.
  • The basics of shaving when a beard starts to appear.  I learned how to shave by trial and error.

So dear reader those are some things I wish my father would have told me about.

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  1. cheriewhite

    I’m so sorry, Dwain. It sounds like he wasn’t really there for you. I feel your pain because after my father married my stepmom, he stopped being there for me. Luckily, we grew close again five years before he died and I’m blessed that I got to tell him things I needed to tell him before he passed. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you’re feeling better. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

      Cherie when I write about those things I do it without any hatred, ill will, etc.,
      I write about them out of strength hoping that it may help someone else.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. cheriewhite

        I completely understand, Dwain. Bless you. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

        Thank you Cherie!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. cheriewhite

        Liked by 1 person

  2. cctechm777

    This is very relatable to my relationship with my father, in so many ways, and more. How many father’s have misused and failed in their responsibility to their children, especially with their sons, in the generation in which I grew up.

    However, I see so many men during this time in which we live that truly show their love towards their children and their participating in their lives. “Every good and perfect gift comes from above” God our Father which is in Heaven”, because even those who know Him not, are blessed by Him.

    Thank you for posting this important truth.
    Lord bless you……

    Liked by 2 people

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health


      Liked by 1 person

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