“As human beings, we are far too broad to be boxed into labels. You cannot lead a label. You can only lead a whole person.”
― Salil Jha
I have been thinking about “comedy” shows, the content is basically one person hurling put-downs at someone else. I just do not find them funny, if it is not name calling, shaming, etc., it is just stupid stunts.
I love reading Cherie White’s blog, Chateau Cherie on Bullying. Her deep dives into the antics that bullies use, one of them is calling names.
I am not that comfortable placing labels on individuals for most are belittling, berating, shaming, tearing down. Then there are those leude names we give to those whose sexuality may be different..
Now reader, I said all that to deal with my school years. I was a skinny, tall, kid with barely any masculine shape in my body. No real noticeable forearms, and my legs I would say they were quite skinny. In high school most other guys already had a full beard. In my case I didn’t start shaving until I was in my mid twenties.
So, this was cause for school mates to call me names. There was a name that I was called due to my full lips, “n*****” lips. In high school the one nick name they pinned on me was, “sticks”. There were many more, too hurtful to even put into words here on my blog.
Because of my size I wasn’t a fighter, the best I could do was run, running to escape being pummeled from head to foot. My grade eight teacher, just before graduation, took me aside to give me some advice. He said when you are being bullied take the guy’s head and slam it into a locker. The situation did arise, I did exactly what the teacher advise me to do. That action created a mob out to get me and kick my butt from one side of the city to the other side. I managed getting through two and a half grades, dropping out in the middle of grade eleven.
As I am writing those experiences my body is trembling remembering the fear I faced my entire school life. My school life was one that was lonely, being bullied in school and at home.
As an adult now when I hear someone being bullied by name calling, body shaming, being physically abused, I stick my neck out to help them. Those feelings of when I was bullied show up if I am watching the television with someone in those type of situations. I usually turn the channel. I cannot tell any of the hit sit-com shows, crime drama shows, that are on in prime time. I stick with shows like those that are on The Discovery Channel, The History Channel, and yes, The Boomerang Channel watching Bugs Bunny.
The adage “sticks and stones may break my bones, but, names will never hurt me” is dead wrong. Names, labels, shaming, all do hurt, a hurt that cannot be seen with the eye, but they truly do hurt deep down. Those voices calling out those have stayed with me even until this day. I am able to shake them better now, but, they still call up the hurt that they did way deep in my soul.
So dear reader I ask out of experience, please take a moment, pause, before lashing out at someone with name calling, and all of the above.
* p.s- as an added thought, I do not hate those who caused my pain, nor do I seek revenge, and I do not wish them harm. That said, I just don’t associate myself with them. I cannot tell you how to handle a situation where there is abuse by name calling, shaming, etc.,***