Suicide Myths, Selfishness

“Did you really want to die?”
“No one commits suicide because they want to die.”
“Then why do they do it?”
“Because they want to stop the pain.”
― Tiffanie DeBartolo, How to Kill a Rock Star

***Warning, could cause triggers! This post has taken the better part of three days to write. I had to stop many times because of how certain emotions came to the top.***

Mention the subject of “suicide” and the room grows quiet. I really do not understand why, could it be that it is part of “death” that makes people uncomfortable. Or maybe they just do not know how to approach it without sounding ill-informed.

I cannot tell you how old I was, I guess enough to understand what people were talking about in very hush tones. It was about a great uncle who had died. I gathered enough of the conversation to understand that he committed suicide. It was years before I was told how it happened. He was found in the garage, doors closed, car running, he was laying under the exhaust pipe of the car.

When I abruptly ran into my bathroom with a bottle of sleeping pills, I turned on the tap, placed the whole bottle of pills in my mouth and drank some water. I really cannot tell you what all happened after that, except I woke up in the hospital, placed in the mental health ward.

This attempt was not pre-meditated, the only way I can describe the moment was that something inside me snapped. All sanely thought left my mind. I had no thought about what would my family and friends would think. All I knew was I just wanted this battle of hell that was raging with my emotions to stop, for the screaming to stop! Just to have some silent time! Thoughts of an after life were far from my thoughts, maybe I had reached the point where I just didn’t care one way or the other.

I wrote that part of my life for a purpose, to show that people don’t always experience suicide ideation. Mine, it seemed like it. came on me without warning. Now maybe in my subconscious the thought of suicide was brewing. I really just don’t know!

Myths About Suicide

Throughout the rest of the year I would like to explore the myths about the subject of suicide.

People Who Attempt or Commit Suicide Are Selfish

Here is my answer to that myth. When I attempted suicide it was not out of selfishness, but, rather it was that I just wanted the breath taking pain to stop. I was an emotional train wreck. At that time I did not know that there were avenues that I could access to get help.

Thoughts about my family and friends that I would put them through a hellish nightmare. They would have been wondering if there was any signs about the emotional state I was in. Leaving them to question if they were failures for not seeing those signs.

So, dear reader that those who attempt or succeed in the act of suicide is selfish is just a big myth!

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  1. ashleyleia

    I occasionally come across people in the blogging community who say suicide as selfish, which I find very puzzling.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

      In searching for different thoughts about suicide I noticed that it was the survivors who said it is not about being selfish. So, my question would be, “are you a survivor”?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ashleyleia

        The accepted terminology seems to be that “suicide survivor” is someone who’s lost a loved one to suicide, and “suicide attempt survivor” someone who’s attempted, so I would be the latter. I don’t know if you know The Bipolar Writer, but he’s someone who’s attempted and has written multiple times on his blog that he thinks suicide is selfish.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

        No I do not know the Bi-polar Writer. What makes a great community is that everyone is allowed to give voice to their thoughts, their values, their ideas, and beliefs.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Chel Owens

    I believe it’s a tactic to shock one’s mind who may be in a suicidal mindset. I agree with you, though, that we can’t make judgemental, ignorant statements about suicide.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

      Chelsea for me I didn’t speak to anyone in that incident that I was planning it. It was on the moment that I attempted it. The shock factor would only work if the suicidal person revealed what they were going to do.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Chel Owens


        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello Simon

    As someone who’s attempted, it is definitely not selfish. I thought about my family loved ones, but I thought that I was a burden and that they would be better off without me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

      Thank you for sharing your personal experience when it comes to “attempted” suicide.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Halbarbera

    Suicide doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better. – Unknown

    Liked by 1 person

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health


      Liked by 1 person

  5. Geri Lawhon

    Some people who commit suicide are doing it to release the caregivers who take care of them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

      Excellent point!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Myths About Mental Illness – rts

    […] dear reader along with this series I am still looking into the Suicide Myths. I hope you will join the […]


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