Commentary – Can You Feel It?

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
― Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life

This post is not meant to look down on other’s feelings, beliefs, or values.

This week has been one of sincere pain, physically and emotionally. It started with a comment in an email I received that said, “I don’t really believe in all the crap Or garbage that everyone is talking about as far as Covid 19 goes.” It took all that was in me not to reply in anger, not to respond and attack the feelings. So, I have left well enough alone, but, have chosen to speak to it here in this post.

Next was feeling the hurt of my best friend who received a call that his brother, eighty-nine yrs. old, had passed away. I understood the hurt for I have had that type of call. I did what I felt was necessary, I sat and let him unload his heart and his feelings. I just sat quietly while tears flowed down his face with grief. I felt his pain!

My thoughts about the “Covid” remark is this. I wonder how those two hundred eighty thousand plus friends, family, partners, brothers, sister, mother, and father feel about it. I have a feeling that this Covid virus is not “crap” or “garbage”.

I sometimes scratch my head when I hear comments that seem to lack any empathy or sympathy for others. It seems like the only problems that concerns those set of persons is there own, that how others are feeling because of what they are facing does not matter.

I have been there when parents are facing the death of their teenage child. I have seen and watch their hearts break into thousands of pieces while standing looking at the child in their coffin. I have never had that experience, but, I sure am human enough to recognize pain of a loved one. My mother told me once that losing a child is the worst thing a parent can go through.

I just cannot comprehend how anyone cannot find it within themselves to show some empathy or sympathy. Is their heart made of stone? Have they no regard for the feelings of others? Can it be that they are so hardened, that they cannot feel other’s pains?

It is extremely hard to listen to news stories showing the very long lines of cars waiting to have someone put some boxes of food in their trunk. I can feel the pain of not having enough food in the house. Not enough money to go and buy groceries.

So dear reader, I ask you can you feel the pain of others? Has someone been there to place a hand on your shoulder in your moment of great pain? Are we becoming a society that no longer feels or cares about others, the pain they feel or the trouble they are facing and going through.

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  1. ashleyleia

    It seems to be a common mindset that if it doesn’t affect me directly, it can’t be that big a deal. It came in the form of people saying systemic racism doesn’t exist because they haven’t experienced it, and it comes in the form of people saying COVID is overblown because they haven’t lost loved ones. That kind of attitude comes up in good people, and people who really should know better, and I have no idea what the answer is.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Adreanne

    I think that our society is very desensitized. It’s also true that empathy doesn’t come naturally to everyone. I know that it’s a struggle for my boyfriend sometimes.

    But good news! It CAN be learned.

    Here’s a challenge for you. Why not show these non-empathetic people some empathy, and try to understand that this is an actual limitation of some people.

    It took me awhile to realize that we all have our short-comings. Something that comes easily to someone else might be hard as heck for you and vice versa!

    So try and empathize with their lack of empathy! Lol as odd as that sounds. And maybe be a teacher to them. 🤗✨

    Liked by 1 person

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

      I am doing my utmost best to show them empathy. Maybe that is why I didn’t reply to them over their email. I was angered, but I think I was more hurt than angered because of where it came from.
      I like your thought of being a teacher to them and somehow I think I have failed in that department.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Adreanne

        Trust me, I understand your anger towards them. It’s frustrating when people just don’t get it smh.

        But don’t judge yourself too harshly for not teaching them. That’s not your responsibility. If anything, it’s an extended courtesy if you choose to teach, not an obligation!

        You did what you thought was best, you left the situation to protect your peace of mind, and that’s okay too. I was just offering a different approach for you to explore in the future, if you hadn’t thought of it.

        Take it easier on yourself ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

        Adreanne thank you for your conversation. It is just the thing that I draw strength from. Conversation is something that is lacking at this time. I always encourage the readers to exercise their right by joining in the conversation. You may be interested in a Post “My Code of Honor” you can find it here:
        Again, thank you for your thoughts! I hope to hear from you again!

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Adreanne

        Of course! I’ve been pretty lonely during this pandemic, so I’m trying to develop a nice blogging community. Talking with you gave me strength and enjoyment as well! Enjoy your weekend. 🤗✨

        Liked by 2 people

      4. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

        Thank you! Have a great evening and weekend!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Angie

    I think there is a lot of denial about the pandemic not necessarily due to selfish reasons but also because it’s a coping mechanism for many.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

      Angie I have never seen such an anti-science sentiment like this in my entire life. I am truly baffled by it.

      Liked by 1 person

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