My Journey to Hip Surgery – Pain and the Mind

“I will be living with chronic pain for the rest of my life. I don’t have the mobility, energy or life options I used to have. I work hard to manage the pain, and I want the medical system to be a respectful and effective partner, not a jailer. The opioid crisis is not my doing.” ― Sonya Huber

Last Friday started me on a very painful several days. I needed refills on my pain and sleep medications. I thought my doctor and I understood to have them refilled on last Thursday. My doctor closes his office on Fridays at 11 a.m.. So, I ran out of medication and suffered greatly until mid Monday.

Friday night was bearable, but, as Saturday became mid day my pain increased to the point I could barely move around. I found myself not being able to sleep for over forty eight hours.

What I found within myself was how the mind takes you for a roller coaster ride. I started thinking about moving into a nursing home. There were hours where I laid in bed crying just thinking what it would feel like just to quit living, (no suicidal thoughts thought). Also, my thought was to have my wheelchair brought in and move furniture so that I could maneuver throughout my home.

My thoughts also turned to imagining what it must be like to have your mind intact, but, laying in a bed somewhere unable to interact with your environment around you. I pictured myself laying in a bed and the only way to communicate would be by blinking my eyes in a pattern to represent a yes or a no answer.

Finally, Monday morning arrived and I was on the phone with my doctor. Being myself and telling him the very thought about moving to a long term care home. I believe he heard the frustration in my voice because I was almost in tears. So, finally last night with my pain killers and sleeping pills I found the relief I needed.

So, dear reader, pain almost brought hallucinations to my mind! Pain is a powerful influencer on the mind!

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  1. ashleyleia

    And pain with no control to do anything about it in a timely manner is even worse!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

      I agree Ashley!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Renee🌻

    Oh goodness! I hate you had to suffer like that! Pain is awful! When I had to get all four wisdom teeth removed in surgery, several years back, the pain meds they first gave me made me sick, then I got dry sockets and finally got the pain under control. It was a living nightmare! 🙏🏼

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Angie

    Oh, how horrible that you had to endure all that! I’m so relieved you got through and was able to get your meds!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

      Thank you Angie, I appreciate your kind words!

      Liked by 2 people

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